More Than a Coincidence

This past week, we took a 2 day trip to San Diego for a little fun time and relaxation after a few months of non-stop stress.  We were able to enjoy a nice getaway but it was also a time to reflect on everything that has happened.  We brought Nathan's ashes with us so we brought him with us both literally and in spirit.  It was our first family trip with all 5 of us. . .


Our first stop was the San Diego Zoo.  The kids had never been there and the last time Mig and I had been there was when I was pregnant with Eliz, so about 9 years ago.


We read in our map that we could feed the giraffes between 12-1, so after a couple hours of walking around, we made our way over to the giraffe exhibit because we didn't want to miss it.  Mig got in line while I paid for a ticket, $5 for 3 giraffe biscuits. (I had to get 6 biscuits, 3 for Eliz and 3 for Michael.)


When I got back in line with our tickets, Michael, Mr. Impatient was having a hard time waiting in line.  So to distract him, I started giving him Skittles, one by one, but he had to tell me the color of the skittle first before I let him eat it. (Hey that's both fun and educational, right?)


All morning we kept seeing groups of kids and adults with the same lime green shirt on that said, "City of Temecula Summer Day Camp."  They must have been on a field trip.


Behind us in line were 2 of the adult day camp counselors.  It seemed like these 2 guys were on a break from their duties and were now there in line to do something cool by themselves.  (And anyway, I'm sure not all the kids had $5 to pay for the giraffe biscuits.)


A few minutes later, our Skittles lesson came to an end, and then a female camp counselor walked up to the line to briefly chat with the 2 counselors behind us.  She had a group of about 10 camp kids with her.

As the group of kids was about to leave with the female counselor to see something else, one of the guys behind us picked a kid from the group to get in line with them.  He said,

"Hey Nathan, want to feed the giraffes with us?"

I almost couldn't believe what I just heard.  I felt a twinge of pain in my chest as hearing this name pulled at one of my still tender heartstrings.  It hurt to think of this boy behind us, this Nathan, who was living and breathing, and walking around the zoo with his friends, who probably had two very lucky parents who loved him very much.  It hurt. . .

I wondered if Miguel had heard everything going on behind us and if it hurt him too.

I turned to catch of glimpse of this boy who shared a name with my little Nathan.  He was Asian,  (I guess us Asians know how to pick the good names, lol :) and looked about 10 years old.  He seemed quiet and shy because when they picked him from the group, he didn't say anything, he just smiled and smiled.  He seemed nice.  He seemed like he must be a good kid. . .

Behind us, one of the guys kept saying the boy's name, "Nathan, we're gonna feed the giraffes. Isn't that cool, Nathan?"  I was sure that by this point Miguel had definitely heard them.  It would have been impossible to not hear them.

I began to think about the coincidence of this.  Of all these camp kids here at the zoo today, how is it that these guys directly behind us had to pick the one named Nathan to join them? How?

Slowly, the hurt I felt began to disappear.  This was just too much of a coincidence.  Maybe this wasn't a coincidence at all.  Maybe this was Nathan's way of letting us know he was there with us.

Since Nathan passed away, people have told me that he will always be with me, but it's hard to feel that when you feel like a piece of your heart is missing.  But here was this tangible sign, right in front of me, (or behind me rather) and it showed me that no matter where we go or what we do, he will always be with us.  I felt happy. I felt some peace.

Elizabeth and Michael finally got to the front of the line and were able to feed the giraffes, which was really cool.  After the kids washed their hands and we were walking away, I asked Mig if he had heard that the kid picked from the group was named Nathan, and he said,
"Yes. That guy kept saying his name over and over too."

"I don't think that was just a coincidence," I said.

"I know," he said, "I know". . .