Blessed / 5 Months

Today is 5 months since Nathan got his angel wings.  Today is also his Godmother's birthday.   Her birthday has brought some joy to this day.  I feel like this makes them more connected in some way.  So it's been a good day, despite the fact that I had to work today, the day after Thanksgiving. 

I was struggling earlier this week with feeling like I didn't really want to do anything for Thanksgiving.  I didn't really want to go anywhere.  I guess I didn't want to pretend like this year's Thanksgiving was just like any other Thanksgiving.  I didn't want to feel like this year was just a 'business as usual,' same as any other year, eat your turkey and pumpkin pie kind of day.  

Because it's not, and it never will be a regular old Thanksgiving to me from  now on. 

Nathan is not here, but the impression he's left on me is that I'm thankful for all the people in my life every single day, not just on Thanksgiving.  So maybe that's the real issue I was having. . . when you've faced loss, and you know how precious life is, and how important your loved ones are to you because you can't even bear the thought of losing someone else, you appreciate.  So one day devoted to being thankful seemed a bit frivolous to me.  I don't know. . .

To get out of this slump, Mig gave me the pep talk I needed and it helped me to get refocused on the good that Nathan brought to us, not the sadness.

That, and a friend of mine posted a video showing soldiers who would be eating MREs this Thanksgiving instead of a home cooked meal with their families.  That really pulled at my heart.   The fact that I am able to spend time with my family and sit down with them to have dinner is a blessing in itself, not to be taken for granted.

And really, that's what Thanksgiving is all about: Family.  The old Jolene used to say that Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday, because it's all about family and food. There are no expectations for gifts involved, just the expectation that you'd be spending time with your family and you'd have a good meal.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

So I cooked a whole Thanksgiving meal yesterday, but at the last minute, we also went to my aunt's house for a couple hours just to see everyone, (including today's birthday girl).   And then we came home and had another dinner here with the food I made, with more family.  It was nice.

Also worthy of mentioning. . .  I have this Bible Verse of the Day app on my phone and some days, I swear it's like God is trying to speak directly to me through the verses of the day that pop up.

Yesterday's verse:
Matthew 5:4 NIV

"Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted."


In all ways, I am blessed.
Blessed with 3 beautiful children.
Blessed with a husband who is more than I could have asked for.
Blessed with family who I love more than I could say.
Blessed with friends that I love like family. 
Blessed that Nathan has given me the heart and mind to appreciate these blessings every single day.
Thank you Lord. ♥